Wait on the Lord… or take action?

‘Just wait on the Lord, HopefulGirl. I believe He’s got a lovely husband lined up for you.’ That’s what a dear old Christian lady told me one Sunday morning. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it. Many times over the years, well-meaning people told me God had already ear-marked my future husband, ready to be delivered at the appointed time.

I wished I could be so sure. But as I looked around the church, I saw many wonderful women entering old age single and childless. ‘I suppose it just wasn’t the Lord’s plan for me,’ they’d sigh. Digging deeper, I’d discover they had spent decades waiting, longing and praying for a husband and family, and were left bewildered by how they’d misread God’s intentions. I didn’t want to end up like that.

At some point, many of us wonder whether it’s right to take our future into our own hands by signing up for dating services. After all, if God has a plan for our lives, shouldn’t we simply trust him to provide Mr or Ms Right when he sees fit? Or could it be that God expects us to be pro-active about our lives and relationships? Might he even use a dating service to lead us to our future spouse?

This dilemma came into sharp focus for me when I found myself suddenly single at 35. It was one thing coming to terms with being dumped by my fiancé, just as we were finally planning the whole wedding-and-babies thing. It was another to prayerfully decide I was ready to love again, then take a look around my Christian circle and discover the tally of eligible bachelors came to… zero!

I knew I didn’t want to marry a non-believer, so unless I was going to start eyeing the youth group like some predatory sugar mummy, I was going to have to look further afield. And there was no time to waste if I was to meet Mr Right while there were still a few eggs left in the basket. A little research soon revealed there were plenty of opportunities for unmarried believers to meet and mingle. But was it… right?

Of course, opinions differ. But after earnest prayer, I concluded that instead of waiting at home for God to drop a partner into my lap (although he can certainly do that if He chooses), I should get out and about, and meet lots of suitable singles. It surely couldn’t do any harm – and at least I’d know everyone else was also looking for love, so I wouldn’t have to subtly cop a look at the ring finger of anyone who caught my eye!

So, while continuing to pray that God would bring me the right man at the right time, and not allow me to venture too far down any dead ends, I threw myself into the Christian singles scene with gusto. It was the start of an amazing journey.

HopefulGirl’s book, ‘Would Like To Meet: The Real-Life Diary Of A 30-Something Christian Woman Looking For Love’, is published by BRF in paperback and Kindle – download your free sampler at www.brfonline.org.uk/hopefulgirl. You can connect with HopefulGirl at www.facebook.com/HopefulGirlUK