Top tips for staying motivated

Top tips for staying motivated by Christian dating columnist and author, HopefulGirl

1. Be ready to play the long game
Finding myself suddenly single at 35 came as quite a shock. Once I’d dusted myself off, I threw myself into the Christian singles scene with gusto, convinced that within the year, God would guide me to my future husband. But I soon learned that finding the right partner can’t be rushed – I was still on the scene several years later! Some people hit the jackpot straight away, but that’s unusual. Accept that it may be a lengthy process.

2. Pace yourself
Some people think regular dating will boost your self-esteem. In fact, your confidence can be dented if you feel judged or rejected, and it can be demoralising to keep putting in the effort while seeing no obvious progress. It’s easy to burn out, so don’t overdo it. Meet up with new contacts regularly, but pace yourself to avoid exhaustion. Be prepared to take time out if you need to – you’ll come back refreshed and ready to enjoy it.

3. Enjoy the journey
Dating should be fun! During my time on the singles scene, I danced the night away at parties; chatted to lots of interesting people; discovered new places; enjoyed some lovely days out; and met some very colourful characters. All of it enriched my life (and gave me enough entertaining stories to write a book!). So don’t view an ‘unsuccessful’ date as a waste of time – embrace the whole experience, enjoy it for what it is, and you’re more likely to stick with it.

4. Think ‘friends first’
Don’t dismiss the value of making friends. Someone who isn’t your Mr/Ms Right could still become a good friend – and they may even know someone perfect for you! I formed two great friendships with former dates, and those alone are worth the investment. But did I meet my Mr Right? Well, I don’t want to spoil the end of the book for readers. However, there’s one character with whom you may fall in love by the end of the story… but he’s no longer available!

HopefulGirl’s book, ‘Would Like To Meet: The Real-Life Diary Of A 30-Something Christian Woman Looking For Love’, is published by BRF in paperback and Kindle – download your free sampler at www.brfonline.org.uk/hopefulgirl. You can connect with HopefulGirl at www.facebook.com/HopefulGirlUK