How do you behave at an event?

I went to a ‘singles’ night out recently and it was fascinating to watch how people behave.

Most people didn’t make a huge effort to meet everyone else at the event, and some people didn’t make any effort at all.

Now I found this truly amazing. Here’s an event that is arranged specifically to help single people meet each other in an easy informal way and yet some people stood around like lemons not talking to anyone and not making the effort to meet people.

“Yes but perhaps they were really shy – I know how they feel” I hear you say. Well perhaps they were – indeed one man even told me he was (and the reality is MOST people feel shy at events like this!). But in that case he needs to do something about it – because acting like a wall flower isn’t going to help him meet other people (which is what he was there for!).

Now if any of this resonates with you (although I’m sure you wouldn’t be like it would you) then I hope the following will help.

If you are shy and find it difficult to meet people at events then try these things to improve the number of people you meet.

1) Set yourself a goal e.g at tonight’s event I am going to meet and talk to three people I haven’t met before.”

Having a goal in itself will help you know what you have to do in the time you have available – rather than just hoping things will happen by chance to you. Try it and see for yourself the difference it will make.

2) Rehearse beforehand some introductory lines to say to people when you first meet them. For example you could say “Hello my name is [fname] and I’m from [fcity] – where have you come from today?” And you might follow this up with “How long have you been a Christian for?” or “How do you most like to spend your time” if the conversation hasn’t naturally flowed on.

If you need  to move on to talk to the next person you can very politely say: “I hope you’ll understand but I’m determined to meet three new people tonight so I’m going to introduce myself to x over there. It’s been really lovely meeting you and I hope we will get a chance to chat again a bit later.”

3) Monitor yourself at how you are doing with your goal. Perhaps inside you are still feeling really really shy but remember other people don’t see this; other people are feeling the same, and most people at these sorts of events  are probably feeling the same way as you (whether they look like it or not) and will be absolutely delighted if you come up and start talking to them.

I promise you it works. I’ve been there and done it myself and I’m not saying it’s easy but I am saying it’s doable and it will help you meet people.