5 Gold Rings – What an ancient Christmas carol can teach us about effective communication

by | May 25, 2016 | Making the most of membership | 0 comments

Most members don’t communicate with other members enough. If they sent more emails, wrote more letters, made more phone calls, they’d make more friends and probably find what they were looking for. It’s a good job Lori is here to dish out some festive advice.

If another member whose details you’ve been sent, hasn’t heard from you, then you’re missing out on many potential friendships. Most members could do with communicating more and most members that I talk to know they should. The reason they don’t is often because they’ve wrongly judged someone else’s profile or don’t know what to say.

If you’re one of those people, I’ve got good news for you. Call it an early Christmas present, if you like.

It doesn’t really matter what you send. Pretty much any communication will be better than nothing.
I promise you, you’ll make more friends and have more opportunities of meeting Mr or Miss Right if you contact other members than if you don’t! It’s rather stating the obvious but it certainly isn’t happening as much as it could be. And the longer you keep in touch for, then the more chance you’ve got of developing a friendship that will enable you to truly find out who that other member really is and what they’re really like.

The fact is that many people in dating agencies (off line or online) are REALLY bad at communicating properly with others. They only send emails in response to those received, or they send out one liners themselves or letters that are so dull and self-centred or short that the sender doesn’t get the response desired.

This is where we can all learn a big lesson from the Christmas carol “The 12 Days of Christmas”
In the song, the prospect’s true love is obviously a ‘really committed’ kind of communicator, aggressively kicking off their communication strategy with a load of lumpy mail designed to grab attention. (Lumpy mail by the way is a term used for anything ‘lumpy’ that comes through the post – i.e. not just a flat letter)

A Partridge in a Pear Tree

“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me….. A Partridge in a Pear Tree.”
This is an extremely strong start to any communication strategy to get someone’s attention. I’ve never priced up a partridge, but I know that mailing a pear tree isn’t going to be cheap.

To spend so much money on the first step of his campaign, this ‘shock and awe’ tactic must be working well.

The Ultimate Communication Campaign

Send someone a couple of turtle doves and you can sit back and wait for the phone to ring. The other person is certainly going to respond! There’s so much to learn from the song so I’m just going to pull three of the biggies out:

#1 More Communication. More Often

Don’t be scared of communicating with a much higher frequency than anyone else. The guy in the carol is mailing once a day, for the best part of a fortnight. That certainly cuts through the clutter.
I’ll bet that very few members are sending 12 pieces of communication to a n other member in 12 days. It’s a sure-fire way to get noticed by someone.

#2 Don’t be dull

Being boring will kill any communication piece. People won’t read it – or if they do, they certainly won’t respond.
Send a gaggle of leaping lords round and the person will wonder what you’re going to do next, and will be expectantly looking forward to hearing from you again. Imagine how your day would be brightened up by receiving 10 leaping Lords!
The campaign is there to develop your relationship and keep you ‘top of mind’, which a delivery of geese is prone to do.

#3 Create obligation

Obligation is a really smart thing to try and create in your communications with others. If they feel like they’ve received the same photocopied letter as everyone else, or the same cut and paste email, your communication will be quickly ignored. But once they start to feel like you’re writing to them really personally, then it’s much harder to ignore your communication.
Send them a personal gift, and your response rate will go through the roof.
I’d expect the 5 gold rings would work particularly well.
You don’t need to go to the expense of pipers. A good hand written letter will do. Although if you go ‘multi media’ and send a text, then a postcard, then a letter and follow up with a phone call, your positive responses will increase.
Take a look again at what you’ve been sending to other members (hopefully you’ll have a copy in your blue folder). Could you afford to be more frequent with your communications? More creative? More fun?
If enough people are interested I could try and get us a bulk discount on some colly birds?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…. Twelve Drummers Drumming, Eleven Pipers Piping, Ten Lords a Leaping, Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Maids a Milking, Seven Swans a Swimming, Six Geese a Laying, Five Gold Rings. Four Colly Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves …. And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.